entry
April 2011
The
Cruise
...smite the
sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset and get to the buffet table
before that fat guy who always takes all the shrimp.
—(with intense apologies to
the memory of Alfred, Lord Tennyson)
Like any Mediterranean cruise ship that calls at
Naples, Palermo, Palma, Barcelona, Marseilles, and Genoa,
my ship had just what you would expect: hundreds of food
service and cabin cleaning personnel from Indonesia and a
rootin'-tootin' fine Tex-Mex restaurant down yonder on
deck 7. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of hot sauce! The joint is
replete with a Highway 66 road sign, a small bowling
alley, a small cactus centerpiece for each wooden table,
and a gallery of large B&W photos from old 1930s and
40s B-westerns, all starring Tex-This Guy, Fuzzy-That Guy
and others whose names you never remember (although they
did have one of Roy & Dale). Interestingly, much of
the decor in the other dining rooms consists of native
Indonesian masks. I don’t know why that should be the case
for cruise ships that sell themselves as “Mediterranean.”
Maybe the company got a good deal: take the service
personnel and get the art work for free.
Not that there was no connection to Naples. There had to
be; after all, that's where we embarked on my first, last,
one and only —please
God, never again(!)—
voyage aboard a gigantic cruise ship. I was so looking
forward to strolling around 16 passenger decks, riding up
and down the countless elevators and scaring fellow
passengers by pulling down my eye patch and growling, "Arrr, matey! Belay that!
Fortune rides the shoulders of them what schemes! Here,
have a swig of bilge.” Alas, the ship was full of
unappreciative riff-raff. (I made a mental note to have
them battened down at some point during the voyage.) I
didn’t know they were let out of steerage to roam around!
It’s one of the great shames of our age that the lower
orders can now travel freely, reproduce without permission
and even vote (!) instead of being chained to an oar,
lathe or loom. Jefferson, thou shouldst be living at this
hour.
Check
out these stats: Tonnage: 133,500; Length: 1,093.5 feet
(333.30 m). Don't confuse gross register tons with gross
tonnage, deadweight tonnage, net tonnage, or displacement.
Whatever, it can carry 5,000 people, more or less like the
largest aircraft carrier. ("Hmmmpphh!" said Dear G.,
life-long and eternally young friend who remembers when
ships were ships. She looked at my vessel and sniffed,
"What a barge. We were
on a ship built in the late 50's in Holland for
transatlantic travel. It looked like a ship should—center
smokestack, black Plimsoll line—was beautifully made, and
nicely tattered at the edges.")
So just leaving from Naples doesn't really count as being
"related to Naples," granted, but I checked out the
history of our good ship, Splendida (photos,
top & left) and noticed some real
connections. It (without a bit more salt in my lungs, I
can't quite bring myself to say "she" for a ship; besides,
there's a real "she" coming up) was built by the STX
Europe yards in St. Nazaire on the Breton coast of France.
It entered service in July of 2009, being christened in
Barcelona by none other than Sophia Loren (!), local Pozzuoli girl and the "real she"
referred to, above. That's one connection to
Naples.
Two is kind of spooky. The Splendida belongs to
the MSC (Mediterranean Shipping Company) Cruise line,
which is the successor company to the Lauro Lines, founded
by the "Neapolitan Onassis," the wheeler-dealer magnate
and popular mayor of Naples, il Commandante, Achille
Lauro. Some may remember the sad history of the
flagship, the Achille
Lauro; it was hijacked by members of the
Palestine Liberation Front in 1985. (I recall the last
name, Klinghoffer, of the wheelchair-bound gentleman whom
those cowardly bastards pushed overboard to his death.)
Subsequently, the passenger liner continued in service
until 1994 when she (ahhhh, finally—I feel it!) caught
fire off the coast of Somalia, was abandoned, and sank.
Earlier, in 1989, the Lauro fleet was bought by MSC and
renamed Star Lauro Cruises. In 1995, the company name was
then changed to MSC Cruises and here we are.
Our voyage was a round trip to the above-named ports.
Originally, we were supposed to call in Tunis, but the
Captain-Hooks-That-Be wisely decided to avoid North
Africa. Libya-Shmibya—it’s all Africa, and we didn't want
NATO pilots mistaking our vessel for one of Gaddafi's
tanks. Not that they could ever hit one.
The next morning when young Dawn had
again spread her rose-red fingers above the wine-dark sea
(I had Robert Fagles translation of The Odyssey with me!)
we were in Palermo. I got off and wandered around the
docks. Sicilians are still so much in love with their
history that even small vendors’ carts and mobile puppet
theaters (photo) are decorated with colorful
scenes from the life of Roger the
Norman, the founder of the Kingdom of Sicily after
it was taken back from the Arabs in the 11th century.
We sailed from Palermo (metaphorically, that is—you'd need
a lot of sheets to move 135,000 tons) when the roads of
the world had darkened once again. They went so dark, in
fact, that the captain got lost and the next morning we
were off a gigantic land mass on the port side. (That's
the opposite of starboard
for you landlubbers. Aaaaarr!) It was
Africa—Tunisia, even though we weren’t supposed to call
there. We didn’t really, but we did idle for a while, and
I noticed a launch coming out from the harbor. Maybe we
were trading smuggled wares for local women. I asked the
captain to let me scat-sing Dizzy Gillespie's Night in Tunisia over
the ship’s speaker system. Again, the scurvy rabble grew
unruly.
We actually had
some rough seas on the way to Palma de Majorca—rough
enough to roll us around a bit and keep some of the
passengers and their obnoxious brood away from the feeding
trough. Palma is not a sleepy village on a tiny island;
currently, there are about 400,000 persons in the city of
Palma (of 850,000, total, on the entire island of
Majorca—roughly a rectangle, 60 km/37 miles on a side).
Palma has a long port road lined by what look to be very
recent high-rise apartments. There is a lovely, large
church on the sea-side—the Cathedral of Santa Maria of
Palma, also called La
Seu (photo, right). It is in the style known as
Catalan Gothic and built on the site of a pre-existing
Arab mosque. It was begun in 1229 and finished in 1601 [sic!]. (And
you thought you
had problems with contractors!)

On to the mainland. I
walked around the port of Barcelona the next morning. It
is amazingly clean and a tourist attraction in itself. The
commercial or industrial port with the cranes and
containers shades over neatly into the tourist port and
pleasure craft, the section of the city near the tall
column atop which is a great statue of Christopher
Columbus pointing seaward (photo, left).
There is a long row of buildings along the port in ornate
late 19th-century architecture (photo,
right) of the style known in Italy as barochetto romano (the
Mergellina train station in
Naples is an example); that is, anachronistically ornate,
replete with cherubs and griffins mixed with the floral
swirls and metals of Art Nouveau.
There is even an aerial cabin lift over the port of
Barcelona so you can glide above and take it all in. I think
the attractive tourist port (with a lovely promenade called
the Vell) must be
a result of a grand sprucing up for the 1992 Olympics. I
never made it to the Catalonia Historical Museum in
Barcelona. I guess this is another of the cities I have to
come back to, although I was here many years ago. I don’t
remember the circumstances, but I remember being in the
Gaudì Sagrada Familia
cathedral in the 1960s. I think I could live in Barcelona
and like it very much. I note that they now have a memorial
Plaza de Toros—“memorial”
because Catalonia was the first province in Spain to do away
with the blood-sport of bull fighting. Apparently, we tried that in Naples once, too.
Now we are bound for Marseilles, running along the coast for
part of the way and then across the Gulf of Lion. As we left
the Port of Barcelona, we sailed past the Queen Mary II docked
there. I don’t think I even knew that there was such a ship. She's
of the Cunard Line, just like the original, which, I recall,
is now a floating museum or restaurant or brothel in the
port of Long Beach, California.
Marseilles is
the second largest city in France. It has a reputation for
good weather and striking colors that attract artists such
as Cezanne. (I think it must be here or near here that every
Englishman I have ever met is always talking about when he
speaks of vacationing in—or having a home in—the “south of
France"—pronounced Frahnce,
naturally.) Like Naples—and unlike Barcelona—the port of
Marseilles looks like a port should. At least the Old Port
does. It looks the worse for wear, but ports take a beating.
The whole port area of Marseilles is spread for 37 km along
the coast. I impressed myself by accidentally taking a photo
(right) of a famous place!—the Château d'If. This is
where the main character in Alexandre
Dumas' The Count of
Monte Cristo, Edmond Dantès, was imprisoned.
(Dumas had a home in Naples, too, by the way. See that last
link.) I had not known that the Château was on the island of
If, one of four islands known as the Frioul archipelago off
of Marseilles. (The island of If is indeed where the hero
was imprisoned, but I had confused it with the island of
Montecristo in the Tuscan archipelago; that is the island he
eventually bought and where he plotted his revenge.)
Historically, Marseilles has quite an important connection
with Naples. Marseilles was in the hands of the Angevin dynasty when that house
took the Kingdom of Sicily from the heirs of Frederick II in the 1260s; the
Angevins then lost Sicily almost immediately to their bitter
enemies, the Aragonese, rulers of a vast sea-faring entity
called The Crown of Aragon. It
was from Marseilles that Angevins tried to retake Sicily and
failed.
We cruised to Genoa along part of the French coast
that used to be part of the Italian Savoy state, the Kingdom
of Piedmont and Sardinia. The Savoys were not nearly as
adept at "stomping" as they thought and traded that bit of
coast to France in exchange for military help against the
Austrians during the Italian wars of unification in the
1800s. The Savoys swapped away Nice, birthplace of Giuseppe Garibaldi! That led a
German guide we once heard to refer to Garibaldi as a
“Frenchman.” My wife was not amused.
Genoa
is the birthplace of Columbus, yes, but, more in the
Neapolitan vein, we docked right near the Varco dei Mille, the
Pier of the Thousand, near the old port building
(photo, right) the spot from which Garibaldi set sail
with his One Thousand troops in 1860 aboard three leaky tubs
bound for Sicily to begin the conquest of The Kingdom of the
Two Sicilies, the first major military step in the unification of the modern nation
state of Italy. The 150th anniversary of that unification
has just been celebrated in one way or another throughout
the nation, perhaps less so among some acquaintances of mine
in Naples who call themselves Duosiciliani—citizens of the Two Sicilies.
(In U.S. terms, think of the Daughters of the Confederacy.)
Genoa had really been the first port on the cruise
for many, so we disembarked all sorts of passengers, only to
take on their replacements. One more leg to Naples, where we
had embarked. The ship’s log is posted on TV screens at
various places onboard. They always give the information in
"sailorese": knots and nautical miles—both gobbledygook to
passengers, most of whom are metric junkies and who don't
even know if "starboard" means up or down. Actually, knots
and nautical miles don’t mean much even to English-speaking
landlubbers.
I think this particular cruise just goes in the same
clockwise circle for nine months a year. The young woman who
kept our cabin (or is it a stateroom? I don't know the
difference) —a cheerful 23-year-old from Bali— says she goes
home for the other three months. I can’t imagine she wants
to do this forever, but times are tough all over. I wonder
if she would be intrigued—if, indeed, she knows about it—by
Western romanticizing of the island of her birth. Maybe I’ll
ask her to join me in a chorus of "Bali Ha'i" (also spelled
"Bali Hai," but not "High" and especially not "Hi") by
Richard Rodgers, the great Indonesian tune-smith. For some
reason I am reminded of The
Student Prince, written in English by Sigmund
Romberg and his wife, Dorothy Donnely, but sometimes
performed in German at the castle in Heidelberg, Germany, so
tourists can feel that they are getting the “real thing.” Or
the Germans who used to ask me about the famous cowboy, Old
Shatterhand, and great Indian chief, Winnetou, both total
inventions of Karl May (1842-1912) (kind of a German Edgar
Rice Burroughs) who wrote reams in German about the American
west without ever having been there. The Italians, too, have
a famous adventure writer, Emilio Salgari (1862-1911); he
concocted an Indonesian/Malaysian pirate/Robin Hood named
Sandokan. Salgari never left Italy, but he sure knew
how to make stuff up. In terms of popularity in Italian
letters, they tell me that Dante is a distant second to
Salgari. I think I saw Sandokan chowing down in the Tex-Mex
place on deck 7, but maybe I was imagining things.
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