Naming of the Animals
And from the ground the Lord God formed
every beast of the field, and every fowl of the
air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he
would call them; and whatsoever Adam called
every living creature, that was the name
thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and
to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of
the field; but for Adam there was not found a
help meet for him. [Genesis 2:20-21]
ironing Cain's fig leaf for Scouts, tonight.
He's up for his merit badge in Citizenship and I
want him to look proper."
give us a hand here for a second. What does that
look like to you over there?"
does what look like over where ?"
well, that... that squiggly, over there."
Keep it away from me! What is it?"
I knew what it was, I wouldn't be asking you
what it looked like, now would I?!"
you don't have to bite my head off, you know!"
"I said ,
'you don't have to...' "
it! That's exactly what that other one is doing!
That one squiggly is biting the head off the
other. That's what I'll name them!
you mean that Praying Mantis?"
take an eardrum as well as a rib, or what? I
said, 'that Praying Mantis."
you know that's what that is?"
that's what she does, isn't it? They make love,
she says grace, and then she eats. Times when
I've felt like that, I don't mind telling you."
Anyway, so that's 'Praying Mantis'?
course. What else are you going to call it? Look
at her, arms folded up like that all the time.
She almost as pious as you. You must have been
up half the night talking to that thunderstorm.
The neighbors are beginning to wonder."
talk to thunderstorms, some to snakes."
what? Where? How did I miss them?"
it." (That snake's about the only thing I can
talk to around here!)
the neighbors haven't quite got my
responsibilities, now have they? That's what all
the rumbling was about last night: 'Give Names
To Every Beast Of The Field!' I wanted a little
clarification on 'every'. Besides, He said I did
well on the mammals, all except for that
'camel/dromedary' one hump/two hump mix-up."
worry about it. In a few years, no one will be
able to keep it straight anyway. So for a pat on
the head, you're ready to do squigglies. How
many more have you got to go?"
say. I've been trying out some of these 'number'
things and I make it to be: 'one' - 'two' -
'three' - 'lots' - 'a lot more' - 'a whole lot
more'- and then this 'every'. I reckon that's
how many more we've got."
How did I get into this? I'm in the dog
D-O-G. Dog. A mammal. You did them last week."
right. Look, it does say here that, 'there was
not a help meet for him', and then I fall into
the deep sleep and you..."
what it says, but that just means that you
needed help to meet me or me help to meet you.
Something like that. It doesn't mean I have to
sit around and actually name these disgusting
little crawly things."
not! Cain! Put your brother down this
Only nine-hundred and two years to go.)
"Oh, nothing. Say, is that 'p-r-E-y or